Saturday, September 7, 2013

An almond mistaken for a nutmeg

Assalamualaikum. First of all I'd like to express my annoyance at the web source that has been haunting me for the past few months or so. I keep getting views from that website and I wish it would end - somehow. Spams don't usually get on my nerves because they come and go, but this one clings like wet spandex on your torso.

Now that I have that off my chest I'd like to talk about something that has been bugging me for quite sometime (yes, apart from that annoying website). When people regard you as something you're not. Now who likes that? The degree of concern differs according to individuals but no one likes it when that happens to them, that's for sure. My care-o-meter, sadly, shoots up real fast. I like to overthink and overanalyze stuff though I think I've kinda toned down a bit compared to the days of yesterday. (The days of yesterday wow I write whatever).

So there's this thing with me, right and the thing is - some people regard me as a funny person. I know and I just know one of the things people use to describe me whenever someone asks about me is 'kinda funny'. Now I used to have no problem with this. But lately I do. People have told me stuff like "Lol you and your sense of humour" when I did nothing to spark or ignite anything funny. Now you may think I'm just being... what's the right word? A snob? Trying to disguise something I secretly love into a subject of complaint? No. I'm telling you right now, it genuinely bothers me. Why? Because that's not true and definitely not what I want people to remember me as. I love jokes, I love humour, sometimes I inject humour on purpose but don't go on and remember me as that. I'm not that. I'm not a serious person either though I believe I appear as one to some but I am also not a clown. Not some joke-crackin-laugh-inducing-just-this-funny-girl person. I have thought about why people might regard me as that kind of person and I've come up with:

a) They find my choice of words and gestures funny. The way I talk and express my feelings and stuff. Or the examples I give, idk. Not my problem if you find something amusing in what I'm doing,  wasn't doing all that to make you laugh. I guess it runs in the family. My family has this way of conveying thoughts and opinions and sometimes it gets a chuckle or two. Again, I don't know. Not my problem.

b) They take the reason I stated above and compile it for when I actually crack a joke or 'be funny' and wallah there you have it, a 'funny' as one of your characters. Because like I have stated above, I love humour. But I don't sprinkle them everywhere. I know my limits, and too much humour is shaytaan. I never take people who goof around ALL THE TIME seriously. Who respects this bunch? Truth be told I'm more serious than funny and you can't tell me otherwise because that's absurd.

It's high time I get rid of this idea. Maybe next time I should just be blatant when people tell me that I'm being funny when I wasn't."I was not being funny."

Do you feel me right now? When people understand and accept and regard you as this funny person everything you do is suddenly funny. I can say a simple statement and people will start saying 'haha that's funny' - what? No. Stop.

I have no problem when people tell me I have a sense of humour when the condition is appropriate but I have a problem when people tell me I do (due to the idea that has been engraved in their minds) when I wasn't even being funny.

I'm done.

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