I am now heading towards the end of the road. I haven't reached the end yet unlike my friends who are already at the end and can already see the intersections that will take them to different places.
I have two semesters left to complete my foundation studies and I kinda have a problem right now.
You cannot believe the love I suddenly have for marine biology and oceanography. Especially marine biology. I have always been intrigued (is that the word?) and fascinated by marine creatures, especially the weird bizarre ones and the prehistoric ones. The sea scorpion. The Megalodon. This also means I have to immerse myself in paleontology. Now oceanography, on the other hand, is a study of the ocean. You see, both interest me. The sea and the creatures living in it. They scare me, yes. To a very large extent. I get all panicky when I see images or videos of deep sea creatures and the sea itself, especially if it's in a very turbulent state. Yesterday I was watching a documentary on a specific prehistoric deep sea creature which preys on whales and I just dropped to the floor and curled myself into a ball. I can't. But I fixed my eyes on the TV screen. Why are you so scary yet so interesting?
At the same time, my love for medical studies is also very deep. Still very deep. Although I'm not sure I will be able to pursue it or not.
Because if that doesn't work I'm gonna have to do a bachelor in dietetics and that ain't so bad either. I've always had problems with my stomach due to food intake and it'd be nice to learn about that. Sigh I feel like taking them all. The logic part of my brain says it's impossible though, unless I get immortal. Eternal youth. Something.
Allah has definitely showed me some signs but I'm not sure - are those signs for me to stop trying because "OK, this field is definitely not for me," or are those signs for me to keep trying. To not stop. Because even the stupidest chicken will learn a few tricks if it is taught everyday.
I really need to sit down and think and talk to God some more.
PS: A SECOND BOOK REVIEW IS COMING UP I CAN'T WAIT. PROBABLY NOBODY CARES BUT IT'S OK, I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T CARE. MUTUAL AGREEMENT RIGHT THERE
But it'd be nice if people actually read. Heh.
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1 hour ago